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Were you unemployed and recently found a job you love?  Were you simply looking to make a change and undecided about if you should, did, and are glad you made the leap?  Please email me and I’ll provide you with more info.  This is for a book – and while I need to know who you are now, ultimately you can be anonymous if you wish. judi@findtheperfectjob.com

“ #*&$^@*”  Is this you this season?  Your guests are still visiting or you’re due to travel home, presents need to be exchanged, family patterns are taking their toll, holiday madness in the airport….

Look around you.  What do you see?  Harried clerks, irritated shoppers, grumpy travelers, crowded parking lots, people with headaches.  Are you one of them?

It’s easy to get caught up in the minutiae of day-to-day life and its problems.  Your Christmas platter broke, everyone wants something from you, your sister didn’t give you a gift list and hates the sweater you gave her.  You just want the holidays to be over.

Why are you behaving like this?  Is it making your life easier? Is it helping those around you?  Why are you perpetuating the problem?

Life moves in cycles.  The only constant is change.  Today’s craziness is tomorrow’s tranquility.  When you’re in the middle of today’s craziness,   you can’t always change things and make them uncrazy.  But you can change your attitude, and remember that this, too, shall pass.

Moods are contagious, mostly because we forget that our mood is our choice.  Other people don’t put us in a bad mood; we allowed their bad mood to affect us.

Whether you’re standing in after-Christmas lines impatient to make an exchange and slamming your credit card on the counter, blaring your horn in the parking lot, or heaving heavy sighs at your spouse, remember that “catching” someone else’s bad mood means your grumpiness may now be passed to the next person with whom you interact.

We aren’t separate from each other.  We’re all part of the universe, like a bucket of water taken from the ocean is still part of the ocean.  Energy travels.  We pick up the moods of those around us, unless we choose not to or choose to be a change agent.

The remainder of this season, let’s do something different.  When we get grumpy, stop, stand up straight, and breathe.  If you’re in a store, be patient.  Bring a book and read while you wait.

Others are also shopping after-Christmas sales and the clerk may be harried too.  Before you grumble about a distant parking space, notice you now have the opportunity for some exercise.

In fact, let’s go one step further.  If you see an irritated mother whose child just spilled her coke, step in with a napkin.   Smile at the person walking by you or the salesperson in the store.   Look people directly in the eye, and mean it when you say, “Have a great day!” Ask your family for help with a big hug and kiss instead of sounding annoyed. 

Did we forget that although it’s after Christmas, this is still a time of joy?  A time to be gracious and conscious of those around us?  To savor the moments instead of counting the days until it’s over?

II’m no different.  I see my parents once each year, and while my relationship with them has greatly improved from when I was in high school, we still have our moments. 

In their desire to protect me from failure and disappointment, they have a tendency to squash my ideas and willingness to take risks.  If I absorb that, eventually it will erode my confidence and I forget that their intentions are good.  Soon I’m past the point of no return and might say things I regret.  

Stressful times are testing.  But the more you are tested, the more you can practice not letting it affect you.  And the more you practice, the easier it becomes.  After all, it’s your choice how you respond to others and what message you convey. 

This season, let’s focus on “spread tidings of comfort and joy,”  send “joy to the world,” and remember “tis the season to be jolly” by not twisting off when others are crazy, and by sending love back instead of more craziness.

Blessings to everyone and remember…..it’s not about the stuff!!!!!

Friday night Steve and I went to a great little venue in Pawling, NY, called The Towne Crier Cafe.  It’s an intimate little place with tables up front where you can get a superb dinner and a separate small section in the back if you’re just coming for the show.  They’ve got musical acts there – mostly ones that are on the upward or downward trajectory as the place seats only about 100 people.

We saw Joe Louis Walker - serious rocking blues guy who’s played with Jimi Hendrix, BB King, Muddy Waters, etc – and Murali Coryell (son of fusion guitarist Larry Coryell), and the rest of the band that travel with Joe Louis Walker.

Which brings me to my point.  Friday night, they’d just returned from 6 weeks in Europe.  Saturday morning they were leaving NY to head to Florida for 6 shows on successive nights. Then back north for 1 show in PA, then 4 shows in New York City, then back again to Florida for another 8 shows.    By January 20, 2012.

Artists are driven by what they do.  Musicians, writers, painters – creators.  They can’t not do it.   So what’s the deal with so many other people?  Many of whom don’t see themselves as creators and thus are creating by default?

BusinessWeek ran an article a few months ago that said according to Deloitte’s Shift Index survey, 80% of people hate their jobs.  The article’s question was “Passion or Paycheck?”   I want to know – why do you have to choose?  Because I don’t believe you do.  My clients who do the work aren’t – they’re finding both.

Part of it is the questions you – and I say “you” because I do love what I do, and firmly believe it’s my life’s purpose – part of it is the questions you ask yourself and the beliefs you hold: 

• “How can I make money?” ….rather than “What do I love? And how can I make that work for me?”
• Flinging yourself at any job ads that look remotely viable and collecting possiblities like marbles, clutching on to them…rather than “What would be my perfect job?  What would it look like?”
• “That won’t work.  I can’t do that.  This is the real world.”….rather than “How can I make that happen?”
• Limited thinking……..rather than expansive thinking
• Fear.  Job seekers are full of fear.  The way conventional wisdom is advising job seekers these days hugely perpetuates that……rather than self empowerment, being yourself, letting the process taking care of itself, not jumping through hiring companies’ hoops, and realizing you don’t have to sit at the table like a 12 year old who’s been told to eat all your vegetables! or you can’t get up from the table

When you love what you do and you have your heart and passion in it, the stress isn’t so stressful.  You find ways to create solutions and feel in control of your life and decisions, rather than feeling as if you’re at the mercy of a job that robs you of something….your time, your health, your soul.

It’s no accident that my company and URL are Find the Perfect Job.  I know it’s possible.  I see people who are doing it – like Joe Louis Walker and his group.  I’ve guided job seekers to achieve it.  I’m doing it… and guess again if you think the road has been easy from the moment I chose it.  More like….it chose me and I said “YES!”

There’s more that factors in to being happy, identifying what you love and moving into it.  There’s mindfulness as well.   No matter what you are doing and whether or not you love it, be mindful of the time spent doing it.  Whether you’re looking for another job or just looking, your attitude, attention, and focus contribute to your results.

Whatever you’re doing at that moment, whether you like it or not, choose to do it with love, care, and attentiveness.   This leaves the door open for new ideas and possibilites you might otherwise miss.  It fosters blooming, if you will.  Grumbling shuts things down.  Choose to be involved and connected with what you’re doing, even if you don’t – at that moment – like it.  Sure, when you love what you do it’s easier and more natural, but that doesn’t mean that’s the only time to practice it.

Back to Joe Louis Walker.  I was fascinated watching Murali Coryell play guitar.  After the show I told him it was amazing to watch how clearly he connected with his playing and how that contributed to the music.   He said a lot of people think he’s tuning out the audience. ” Totally not,” I said.  “You’re tuning in the music precisely so you don’t miss connecting with the audience.”   (He closes his eyes and practically goes into a trance)

Am I perfect? Do I do this mindfulness / gratefullness / choice / deliberate-creation-of-my-life thing all the time?  No.  But thankfully, I get a little bit better at it every day in all areas of my life.   When you love what you do, it facilitates that.  So don’t make the recession an excuse.  You’re creating your life.  Doing what you love is possible.  All you have to do is choose to make it happen.

The free Q & A is back! 
Today – Wednesday, October 26 – at 3 pm eastern / noon pacific

Ask a question – or just register to listen and learn – at  www.AskFindthePerfectJob.com

by Alison Green
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Copyrighted, U.S.News & World Report, L.P. All rights reserved

Alison Green has written an excellent article.  It echoes stuff I’ve been saying and teaching my clients for ages.  Having spent 22 years working with hundreds of hiring authorities, it’s no surprise to me or my clients.  And yet, you’ll hear others tell you differently.  This is probably the singularly best article I’ve read on career advice (besides my own of course!) so read it, print it out, and study it.

http://money.usnews.com/money/careers/slideshows/21-things-hiring-managers-wish-you-knew